Read this review of, "Getting Serious about Getting Married", a not-so-sensitive self-help book for single women outlining all the "how-to's" of landing a spouse. You just have to put your mind to it. Take charge of your own destiny. Set priorities. Focus.
Is anyone else already annoyed?
On the upside, I do agree with reviewer Camerin Courtney who seems to give this book it's due criticism for oversimplifying the ever-complex world of guy-girl friendships and dating relationships. And, for pointing out some faulty biblical premises, "Her case for marriage as God's will for all believers rests largely on the story of Adam and Eve. Maken argues that since God said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone and then solved that problem not with a brother or friend or neighbor but with a spouse, that must mean every other person throughout the course of history is God-designed to be married. " Hardly!
While I agree the general principles of personal responsibility and moral agency hold in the realm of dating, I am also sympathetic about the reality that many excellent women remain single for inexplicable purposes. Sure, being a little pro-active never hurt anyone but when it comes to romance, sheer will can only get you so far. Marriage is not merely a solution to loneliness (Lord knows there are plenty of lonely married people) nor is it an end that justifies any means, and it is certainly not to be pursued as an "accomplishment."
Marriage is a sacrament, a covenant, a gift. Certainly we have responsibility to engage that gift as it is bestowed to us, and to do the hard and necessary work to keep our hearts open to that possibility, but it is not up to us to be masters of our own destinies. If that's the premise we start from, these do-it-yourself marriages are unlikely to last long in any case. Good marriages take nothing less than grace, a free gift we cannot earn, but only gratefully receive. Shouldn't that be the same posture we take initially as well?
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