Miss (and Mr.) Independent

Well, I figure by now I've covered sex, politics and religion so why not round it out with one more dinner-party-faux pas... MONEY. But not JUST money, no, the gender politics of real estate investment to be exact.

In today's NYT an interesting piece, "For Men, A Fear of Commitment" examines why single women are twice as likely as single men to buy homes. As the writer, Stephanie Rosenbloom, observes, the phenomonenon among both genders likely has more to do with establishing identity than leveraging (or not leveraging) investment:

"They [men] consider buying a home detrimental to their independence, as it tethers them to one location, squelching any youthful fantasy of a nomadic existence. Indeed, for many single men without children, buying a home is a commitment akin to getting married — and they are content to put it off.

Single women on the other hand seem more interested in establishing a sense of security, or "nesting," as several brokers and buyers put it. They consider buying a home an act of independence. It is an asset, a symbol of their financial strength and proof that they need not wait for a man of means to provide them with the security they crave.

This is not a battle of the sexes. It is a battle of semantics. Both men and women view their decision to buy or not buy as a declaration of independence, though they have cultivated very different definitions of "independence."

As I read this article I am sad that this false notion of independence-as-liberty has taken such a strong hold among my peers. Not to say that independence is all bad (nor is home-buying for that matter) but rather that no other values seem to rival it, like say, community or honesty or sacrifice or discipline. I don't have a poll or a study to prove it, but I doubt that these non-tethered grown men are feeling nearly as fulfilled as they insist they are in their lives as as perpetual rush chair. Nor do I think that women are being completely honest when they assert that fulfillment can be achieved outside human relationship through finacial and professional achievement alone. But then again, maybe that's just a hunch.

NOTE: For more on money and the gender gap catch this review of "Why Men Earn More" at NRO